The Day I'd Like To Start Over & Terrible Twos Advice??

Do you ever have a morning were you just want to crawl back into bed and start the day over.  Today was one of those days.  On a typical work day morning I usually get up around 5:30 get my shower and eat my breakfast.  Daniel gets up at 6 to start his day.  While he is in the shower, I usually unload the dishwasher or put away laundry.  By the time he gets out of the shower, I am already starting to blow dry my hair {yes, I wash my hair every day…if not it’d be an oily mess}, do my make up and get dressed. He eats his breakfast and at about 6:30 he goes into Cecilia’s room to get her ready. The last thing I have to do is do Cecilia’s hair which takes no more then three minutes.  By 6:45 we are all three ready to go out the door, Daniel and I take Cecilia to daycare, I take Daniel to work and around 7:30 I am usually getting to work.

This has been our routine since February when I started my new job.  The mornings are Daniel and Cecilia’s time.  It’s the only time throughout the day they get with just them.  The evenings at bath time is my time with Cecilia. It’s just what we do and it’s worked great for us, until now!  This morning Cecilia wanted nothing to do with daddy.  She wanted mommy.  I tried to explain to her that mommy needed to get ready, but she wasn’t having it.  Anytime Daniel tried to get her she yelled, “No! I want my mommy!” and swatted at him.   Ordinarily, she wants daddy, not mommy.  Eventually I was able to get her to brush her teeth and let Daniel dress her, but it wasn’t without a fight. 

Daniel ended up getting frustrated and hit her on behind (not hard it didn’t leave a mark, but it was enough to make her come to me and say “Daddy hit me!”). Now I know all of us have different parenting styles, even my parenting style and Daniel’s parenting style is very different.  I’m the time out mom.  If Cecilia does something wrong, I’ll give her a warning, I’ll tell her not to do it and the next time she does it she gets time out.  So the next time she does it, she gets put in time out (which usually consists of me holding her down in one of her chairs, because she’s screaming and won’t stay there for two minutes).  I make her say sorry and then she gets a hug and gets up from time out.

Daniel warns once, then the second time she gets a tap on her bottom (which usually has a pull up on). I am not saying my way is right or Daniel’s way is right, but neither seems to be working.  Cecilia is very much like Daniel where if you yell at her or tell her no it doesn’t phase her.  Where as I was always the goody two shoes., my dad would just have to give me “the look” and I would bust out crying.

For example yesterday Cecilia got at trouble at day care for pulling another girls hair and trying to bite her, because Cecilia wanted to swing and the girl was on the swing.  When I heard that my heart broke.  Cecilia hasn’t bitten any kids at daycare, but she has gotten bit quite a few times.  It’s what toddlers do and I never got mad at the little boy who bit her or the boys parents, but when it’s your kid doing the biting it’s harder.  So last night Daniel said “Next time she does it she is going to get spanked when she gets home.” I told him that it would defeat the purpose, because we are spanking her 5 hours after the fact.  I don’t know what to do.  At daycare they have a reward system, they get a little lolly pop if they are good every day.  If they are good all week, they get to pick out of the treasure chest. Cecilia didn’t get to pick from the treasure chest last week (because she hit) and she won’t be able to this week, because of yesterdays incident. 

My question, how do you or did you discipline your two year old (she’ll be two and a half next month)? Do you use time out,  a reward system or do you “spank “ them aka tap their bottom if they’re bad? I don’t want this bad behavior to continue into school.  I am hoping this is just part of the terrible twos and she’ll grow out of it very soon! All advice is welcome!

Thank you!